“how did it go?” the hubby asked over the phone.
“my cheeks are flamin’ red.” i told him.
“uh-oh, that bad huh?”
my cheeks are very good indicators of my current mood.
we were back in the psych’s office, with the ex, discussing what to do next with bear.
“we just don’t have any problems. ever.” the ex said.
“and how do you do it, what do you call yourself, the ‘alpha male?’ how exactly did you come to this point?” i asked barely controlling my anger.
“i don’t know, bear just knows where he stands with me.”
“and is that because he fears you? is that what made you ‘alpha male?’
“look i am not going to get in an aggressive argument with you.” he is such a jerk.
“i am simply asking why bear is afraid of you.”
he then proceeded, the ex, to swing his arm at bear like he was going to hit him.
“there, do you think if i beat him that he would have just sat there and not flinched?”
i was thinking of making my own swing at him, the ex, not bear.
“um, no actually, i don’t think that really proves anything.” said the psych.
the ex admitted that he has swat bear, but he can count on one hand how many times. he said it was only when bear bit him.
“i thought you just said bear never bites you.” i added.
“you want to know that last time?! i can tell you exactly, 5 years ago.”
hooray for numbers pulled out of thin air.
the ex says sure bear has a mean little temper on him, sure he has some fits, sure he does his crazy laugh, sure he does risky things sometimes but that is all controlled by him, the alpha male and brushing his teeth.
i said a few more things,
he said a few more things.
i told jim that him wanting the kids for all of july is the worst idea i have ever heard.
then i knew i would get nowhere near what bear needs if i kept the verbal fight with him.
“jim, i am sorry. i took my frustrations out of you. i apologize.” i said swallowing every bit of anger i was feeling at the moment and feeling my cheeks burn even more.
“thank you.” was all he said.
then proceeded to take over the appointment.
at first i was angry at the psych.
but then as i was able to control my anger more i realized he was arguing for bear.
he was proving with questions that made it seem jim was in charge to prove that bear has bi-polar.
“so, by what you are telling me, you can re-created these situations of bear’s crazy laugh and anger situations? by your argument it sounds like you could.” the psych said.
“well, no, that is not what i am saying, i am just saying we have polar opposite parenting styles. i am not going to talk him through it, he knows where he stands.”
“and what do you want.” the psych asked me.
“i want my son happy. i want my son on an even keel. i never dreamed i would have to fight my son and hold him down. i want my son, the one we see who is happy and funny and so easy to take anywhere.” i felt myself starting to cry. i HATE showing emotion in front of the ex.
the end of the story is that bear should be on risperdal.
but guess what?
the ex has to think about it and then call the psych to give his permission.
when the ex left the psych said it was obvious that jim’s wife answers in ways to make sure she does contradict him.
you know what i dreamed last night?
that i beat up three men.
i broke one of their arms.
and i laughed.
i have got to find a release for some anger i think.