another developmental milestone reached

queen and bear have, yet again, reached another major milestone.

they have finally realized what sundays are really about:

002 003

 

that’s right, slothfulness. (that is a word in our home)

can i get an amen?

speaking of milestones, my little bird is extremely hard on herself; we spend many hours trying to tell her not to be.

here is our latest conversation while playing catch.

“bird! you don’t have to be perfect at everything! no one is perfect.”

“oh yeah? Jesus was perfect.”

damn sunday school.

“well, did you ever consider that someone should have just told him “hey, you really need to take it easy, no one is perfect”?

silence.

“i am willing to bet that no other mother in utah is having this conversation with their daughter on sunday in utah.”

sorry bird, you aren’t Jesus.

 

 

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I’VE BEEN ROBBED!!!!!!!!

friday night we did everything we possibly could to make sure our vehicle was broken into while eating at cafe rio.

unlocked vehicle? check.

debit/credit/and any other card the thief would want in plain view? check.

cell phone left behind? check.

personal dvd player? sure, take that too.

apparently we take the ‘come unto Jesus and share all you have’ teachings to heart.

that, or we are just REALLY stupid.

show of hands who vote for choice number two. (dad you are not allowed to vote)

let me try to paraphrase our first victim of crime experience.

a) found partially eaten subway sandwich in our vehicle……we did not eat at subway.

b)knew immediately we were robbed.

c)knew immediately when calling cops and were asked the question ‘what damage was done to the vehicle?’ our culpability in the crime would be known.

c.1) it was known immediately.

d)sent strongly worded text to my stolen phone that may or may not have contained derogatory name calling.

d.1)it did.

e)started cancelling cards only to find out that it had been used right across the street at cafe zupas……..thievery made our thief hungry.

f)sent another text to my phone saying ‘how was zupa’s? did you know they have cameras?’

g)cancelled phone, but not before sending text that said ‘say bye-bye.’

h)got all case numbers and went home to never see our stuff again swearing never to tell my parents, especially my dad, of the early christmas gift i gave to the underbelly of layton utah.

i)got a call from my mother saturday morning stating she had received a call from clearfield police saying they had got the woman who broke into our van and had our dvd player and phone.

i.1)my parents suddenly knew.

j)found out this morning that she broke into 6 other vehicles, they got a warrant to her house and found my credit cards. “we also found your target gift card.” the nice officer told me.  there was a momentary pause on my end and i quickly thought about christmas and the re-gifting of the target gift card i could do to take care of a family member……..

j.iwouldgotohell)i told the nice officer it was not mine.

k)she is in jail and facing multiple felonies…….JESUS LOVE HER. you know what they say about karma…she’s a lovely little lady always ready to kick yer ever-lovin’ thieving arse……bless her heart.

l)my things were missing less than 24 hours.

m)chicka says “mom, let this be a lesson to you.”

m.whodiedandmadehermother) “and remember you get no christmas presents.” i replied.

my father seems to feel that i got off too easy and again will not lock my card and leave all my rubber-banded together credit cards in plain sight.

i should be totally offended, but i give myself 6 months……..tops.