the hubby’s dreams of barf fest came true

the flu has officially hit stodmornia.

yeah, it is an actual place. why do i know this? i live there.

first it started with the infamous lunch room barf-a-rama, which we later found out did indeed have people scurrying and falling over backwards, literally, to get away from the action.

then we brought the action a little closer to home with the sink suddenly becoming a beacon for barf. for some reason, this particular child refuses to barf in the toilet.

note to owners of bathroom sinks, they were not meant to handle barf, plunger may be needed to de-clog residual barf.

plunger

not to be outdone, the next action was brought to us by the over-confident ‘i think i can make myself not barf’ participant.

he could not, he did, and the bed needed to be cleaned.

he kept a bowl handy from then on out, even when we have tried to convince him he is no longer barf prone.

the next action barfing figure is a little unnerving to me still.

this participant showed no sign of barfing. in fact, he ate a hearty snack, followed by a hearty dinner. not 30 seconds after the hearty dinner was completed, he immediately barfed in the sink.

again.

the damn toilet is literally 6 inches from the sink.

plunger needed yet again.

plunger

not to be deterred by a little barf, my child asked for dessert 30 seconds after finishing barfing.

“that is eating through the pain!” the hubby proudly exclaimed.

i personally was contemplating what exactly my womb created and who the heck eats right before and right after barfing?

the next participant in the barf-a-rama was the man who wished for it all, the hubby.

knowing the hubby as i do, and loving the hubby as i do, he did not fail me.

i got a play-by-play of the whole episode X2.

if that ain’t love, i don’t know what is.

at the moment, all’s quiet on the barf front, but the day is young and there are still three barf fest virgins holding on to their virtue.

puke

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what the slightly neurotic homebound do

the flu season has hit my family hard this year.

i am going on 2 weeks of sequester and seclusion with little dashes out into society.

what does one do when sequestered and forced to stay home?

well, i started by cleaning bedrooms.

by the time i was done i had taken out 6 bags of garbage and 8 bags to thrift stores.

i even found a humidifier in my son’s room that had been missing for a year.

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there are no monsters under the bed, i kicked their trash out!

next, i watched my son think it was a good idea to take the garbage out without any shoes on……in the snow…….in sub-freezing weather.

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then i watched as he realized how bad of an idea that actually was.

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then i taught my other son some wicked ninja moves.

so wicked that he was referring to himself as ‘the fat panda’ when the carnage was complete.

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finally, i thought i would fight the straight hair epidemic that is sweeping the nation by bringing back the 80s one perm at a time.

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and in doing this stand against straightness, i realized one very important thing:

i should remain in my role as a follower, not a leader.

please get me out of this house!!!