why i want a clone

first off, my clone would know i was hankering for chocolate chip cookies this morning and already have them made.

not just make the dough, but cook the dough in individual cookies instead of just throwing the batter in a cake pan and calling it ‘cookie cake’ because i am too lazy to take the time to cook them individually.

second, my clone would eat all the cookies therefore satisfying my sugar craving and i would look smokin’ hot from the lack of cookie consumption.

looking smokin’ hot might be hard because most of the time i would probably send my clone out to run for me too, probably throw in some pilates and yoga for good measure.

i would also have made my clone take the prescription strength suppository i needed the evening after my marathon to stop me throwing up.

my clone would be the one who would have to share its food with the kids every time they walk by.

i would eat it all in bliss; which, once again, might get in the way of lookin’ all hot and sexy.

my clone would get up to do the paper route.

and like it.

my clone would shower when i am just too tired to care and miraculously i would be the one coming out squeaky clean and smoothly shaven.

all while i slept.

but most importantly,

my clone would realize how filthy my freezer was before telling out-of-town guests to ‘just put it in the freezer’

unfortunately, it was my non-clone, which is surprisingly a lot like me, that cleaned out the freezer this morning.

someone has to stop me from being stupid……

and it’s not myself.