wandering down rambling lane

the best part of church yesterday?

the teacher working in the work ‘sphincter-ally’ while teaching the lesson.

while the teacher said the word, their hands were clasped in fists to make the point.

i am not quite sure the context it was used in the sentence for, i was too busy giggling and the image in my head was just too much.

one day i will grow up.

no picture will be used to explain this word.

i am afraid my husband is having an affair.

an affair with the winco bulk food section.

he leaves work to sneak over there.

it all came to an ugly head when he showed up with dried hummus and reconstituted hash browns.

our marriage is in a dark place right now.

yesterday, my daughter was having bad cramps and asked to leave church early.

“i want to leave too.” my son piped up.

“are you having pms cramps?” i asked.

“no.” he replied.

“you need to have pms cramps to get out of church.” i said.

for the first time in my son’s life, he wished he was a girl.

i looked out the window and saw the kids left the umbrella on the trampoline.

it is raining and the umbrella is all wet now.

i found myself very irritated until i realized one thing.

it’s an umbrella.

they are supposed to get wet.


thou shalt not sleep in church

yesterday the hubby feel asleep in church, not unusual to say the least, this time it was pretty hard core.

here he is trying to do a re-enactment:

pretty close minus the shirt, tie, and drool.

the girls, seeing a perfect opportunity, made a sign and actually attached it to his shirt….all while he stayed asleep.

the hubby said when he woke up he looked down and saw it, needless to say the girls were extremely proud of themselves.

i did not go to church yesterday, i was commanded not to. (of course it was myself that gave the commandment but who goes against a commandment?) and when the hubby came home and showed me…..well a mother’s pride knows no boundaries when she sees that pupils have been learning at her knee.


a word search

“i can’t find spoons!” one of my children lamented over a word search.

“it’s right there.” another child pointed out to help.

“no, that one is spelled s-n-o-o-p-s- and i need s-p-o-o-n-s.” she argued.

“it’s upside down.” the sibling said, who happened to be sitting so she saw the word search upside down.

what ensued was an argument the ended up involving three children with the youngest out-arguing the older two.

s-n-o-o-p-s it is.

this same child was trying to find someone to play tic-tac-toe with in church yesterday to resuscitate herself from slow-death-from-boredom. no one would play so she challenged herself to a rousing game.

she won 4 out of 5 games.

herself won one.

and finally, when walking into the living room last night, i find this left on bear’s tv courtesy of bear:i don’t care who you are, that is going to give you a start.