why we are peas and carrots

i find my hubby’s chewed gum all over the place; the kitchen table, above the microwave, the kitchen counter, the bathroom, by the cookie jar………sometimes it is still wet from his spit.

gross.

yesterday i found his already chewed gum just below my armpit on my arm.

“how did you find it there?” the anxious reader wondered.

the hubby fell asleep with it in his mouth and the gum fell out completely losing its way.

my arm found it though.

i am just glad my hair did not.

when confronted of the escalating problem of the chewed gum escapades, the hubby pointed the finger firmly back at me claiming i am solely responsible for these reprehensible crimes.

yes, i used to put my chewed gum on the dashboard of the car.

and yes, i did sometimes forget it until it was a melted chewie mess of stickiness, but that  irritated the hubby so much i stopped.

he says it affected him so now he must.

weak.

the hubby also had a route picked out for us on our excursion to vernal to see all things dino yesterday with the exact mileage for the trip, he was a regular marco polo.

we reached the exact mileage and still were not there.

we were here.

“oh, sorry.” the hubby admitted, “i was actually figuring out the mileage to pizza hut in vernal.”

this is why the hubby and i get along so swimmingly, his thought process made total sense and pizza sounded really good at that moment.

am i braggin? why yes, yes i am

parent teacher conferences. keats is now on-level math, only student to get 100% on his test in his class.

bragging?

yes.

in bird’s soccer game she played defense.

she was the only defender from mid-field line back and the coach finally told her goalie to just go up and play forward because bird was not letting anything by.

bragging?

yes.

chicka the inventor, first find willing participant then introduce the world’s first ever cat swing:bragging?

yes.

bear just being bear. the end.

bragging?

yes.

queen informing me she wanted to go to wal mart on her ipad. me telling her no. she telling me yes.

bragging?

yes.

the hubby changing 4 light bulbs and finding the last easter egg.

bragging?

no.

do you all feel inferior now?

no?

good.

not mocking i say, NOT mocking.

“i have been washing her hair with bubble bath the past two nights.” the hubby admitted to me.

in his defense the bubble bath does say tear-free and extra sensitive AND looks suspiciously like shampoo….

i just wonder if we add water to her hair if it will bubble…..

“give me a list.” says he.

“no.” says i.

“i am blind to what needs to be done.” says he.

“i am blind to your blindness.” says i.

“then tell me what is on your list.” says he.

“make your own.” says i.

“guess what mom?” says she, “dad did not make us do a single thing from the list you left him.”

“very funny.” says i.

“no! really.”  says she “ask him.”

i turned to ask only to find the darling hubby furiously scanning the list i left.

a list that he has been begging me to leave for years.

a list totally….left…..undone.

“i am going to cry.” says i.

“no worries.” says he.

“i left the list like you asked!” says i.

“and i am doing it.” says he.

standing in the middle of the kitchen, hands still full from my errands, i realized that indeed says he is correct, there is no time limit on lists.

nor will there be another list to be shamelessly cast aside.

obviously the power of the list is too much for my padawon for with great lists comes great responsibilities.

stop the canonization!

many people call the hubby a saint.

is it because he works miracles?

no.

is it because he has seen the Holy Mother in unsuspecting places?

no.

is it because he has seen Jesus on a piece of bread?

no.

it is because he married me.

i am still, after 10 years, trying to process if that is a good or bad reflection upon myself.

well i am here to tell, with proof, that he is not saint.

as you may recall, earlier i mentioned our ongoing list battle.

soon after that post was posted, i came downstairs to the hubby pointing at the cupboard stating that his list was posted and i was not allowed to do anything on it.

on his list? dishes, fold laundry, and breakfast.

awesome list.

i was especially impressed that breakfast was on his list of things to do.

i got the lawn mower out to mow the lawn when he came running out of the house.

“THAT IS ON MY LIST!!!” he yelled.

“i did not see any list.” i pointed out.

“it is in my head.” he said.

although he is an easy read, i did not happen to see that item on his list.

“it was already on my list from 2 days ago.” i stated.

“not true!!” he countered.

“go look on the microwave and you will see my list.” i believe in rolling over lists, what does not get done one day moves to the next until completed.

“i’m an unbeliever.” he said while going in to find the list.

he was quiet when he came back out.

“how many more times are you going to get knocked down?” i asked

“as many times as i need to.”

then he came down the stairs to give me his mini-leg kick.

those of you who know the hubby also know his height is not in his legs, in fact they de-heighten his height.

“that is not fair! you know i cannot defend against the mini-kick!” i lamented.

and it is true, every time he uses his mini-legs in a fair fight i end up laughing to hard to defend myself.

so, to wrap this little post up nicely and get on with my list let me state this again.

the hubby is NOT a saint.

he is a list stealer.

and a mini-kicker.

 

i think we still got some years left in us

“happy eve before anniversary.” the hubby told me last night.

he was not trying to be overly romantic, oh no, he was once again reminding me of our anniversary knowing i would have totally forgot it.

just like i forgot his birthday that one year.

you see, i forget important things.

the hubby farts on me in his sleep.

i am grumpy in the morning.

he talks WAY too much in the morning.

he has REALLY bad morning breath.

i have stinky pits.

we have hurt each others feelings.

he knows every insane fact about nothing and shares it freely.

i drive him insane with my inability to just sit by him for more than 5 minutes.

we have argued.

we have annoyed each other.

we have seen each other at their worst.

and then we laugh about it afterwards.

and that is why we will be hangin’ together for the next 10 years.

we have found each other.

we have found each other’s flaws and stinkiness.

and we have found the one that will let us be our complete self without recrimination.

yep, i think that is what they call love.

xoxoxo hubby, glad we found our groove and it includes speed bumps to let us know we are doing something right.