what’s hard vs what’s easy

easy: eating an entire package of chocolate covered graham cracker cookies.

hard: feeling bad about it.

guilty

hard: telling yourself it is a good idea to get out of bed in the morning knowing that it just groundhog day all over again.

easy: remembering how much i hated groundhog day.

deja-vu

easy: convincing everyone cereal is a nutritious dinner, so are microwaved frozen taquitos.

hard: planning a decent dinner when pinterest lies to you 90% of the time about just how ‘easy and fun’ those ideas are.

time

easy: when everyone and everything in your life at the moment is going well. no one is in jail. no one requires medical attention. no one is in the principal’s office. everyone is fed. the house is even cleaned. so good, that i am personally calling the United Nations to tell them i really can fix all the problems in the world good.

hard: reality hits.

reality

easy: just give up and refer to the first easy listed in this post. you earned it. pretend life does not exist beyond your bed. pretend that you don’t have to deal with the general population seeing your children as so disabled, that they don’t get to have a say in the very basic choices in their lives. oh wait, that is their father (rude). pretend that your 18 year old, who has had months of absolute fantastic behaviors, suddenly regresses that past three weeks culminating in him head-butting you so hard in the pizza factory parking lot that you got to hear your nose cracking. i personally loved the parking lot setting, very outsiders, stay golden pony boy.

hard: getting out of bed and still walking that sexy walk every single day. so to anyone out there working the hard part, get out and get your sassy on, but first refer to the first easy listed on this post, consume, then go get the sassy on.

sassy

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why i want a clone

first off, my clone would know i was hankering for chocolate chip cookies this morning and already have them made.

not just make the dough, but cook the dough in individual cookies instead of just throwing the batter in a cake pan and calling it ‘cookie cake’ because i am too lazy to take the time to cook them individually.

second, my clone would eat all the cookies therefore satisfying my sugar craving and i would look smokin’ hot from the lack of cookie consumption.

looking smokin’ hot might be hard because most of the time i would probably send my clone out to run for me too, probably throw in some pilates and yoga for good measure.

i would also have made my clone take the prescription strength suppository i needed the evening after my marathon to stop me throwing up.

my clone would be the one who would have to share its food with the kids every time they walk by.

i would eat it all in bliss; which, once again, might get in the way of lookin’ all hot and sexy.

my clone would get up to do the paper route.

and like it.

my clone would shower when i am just too tired to care and miraculously i would be the one coming out squeaky clean and smoothly shaven.

all while i slept.

but most importantly,

my clone would realize how filthy my freezer was before telling out-of-town guests to ‘just put it in the freezer’

unfortunately, it was my non-clone, which is surprisingly a lot like me, that cleaned out the freezer this morning.

someone has to stop me from being stupid……

and it’s not myself.

remembering who i really am

i was in the shower yesterday morning thinking about a little poem i read on facebook by an old high school classmate of mine.

that made me think of high school.

then that made me think how fast time goes by.

then that made me think that i still don’t feel older and it is sometimes still surreal that i have a husband, house, and 5 kids.

then a knock on the door.

“mom, does this look ok?” child number 1 asked.

i peeked my head around the shower curtain and said yes.

“mom, how does this look?” child number 2 asked.

same peeking, same affirmative answer.

“mom, if i raise my hand this high my shirt does this.” child number 1 said while raising hand.

same peeking around shower curtain with suggestion of changing shirt.

“mom, what about these shoes?” child number 2 asked.

same peeking told her they were cute.

“mom, my shoes are sticky on the inside, what should i do?” child number 1 asked.

did not even bother peeking and told her i would clean them when i was done.

“how about i use some clorox wipes on them?” this clone of a child who keeps knocking on my shower door again.

i say clone, because no single child could actually revolve through a door that much.

by this time i was out of the shower when more knocks and requests to look at this, and see this, and what are we having for lunch that is when i made it to my bedroom.

child number 3 comes up the stairs.

“don’t go in mom is getting dressed.” child number 2 said who was already waiting outside my bedroom door.

“ok.” said child number 3 who sat next to child number 2 to wait.

“mom? are you almost done?” child number 1 asked, who was also sitting next to children 2 and 3.

later that day, thinking the kids were all relaxing in different parts of the house the hubby decided to give me some smooching.

that is until we heard a little “hi mommy” behind us.

nothing kills a make-out session like a ‘hi mommy.’

and that is when all surrealism stopped.

for my privacy

i am sick.

not a little sick.

a lot sick for me.

so after i got up, i laid on the couch to snooze and still be around the kids.

they built me a privacy wall so no one could disturb me:

such thoughtful children i gave birth to.

here is the size of the couch i was laying on:

soon after privacy wall was erected, bear came and let me know he wanted the other end of the couch.

he spent his time on that end of the couch intermittently pretending to sleep and kissing his pointer finger than pointing it at me.

bird came to my side of the couch and tried to climb in beside me.

although she is a little bird, there was no room in the nest.

she settled in on the floor next to me with her head on my shoulder.

the cat took position at my head.

and chicka took her spot on the re-upolstered-with-duct-tape chair.

keats was outside the privacy wall, but just.

queen came and looked at the scene, laughed, and left.

we were a very private bunch.

during this time, bear decided he needed his music.

his music was locked in the trunk of the VW.

i watched as he went outside, got the key to the VW, unlocked the trunk and then was stupefied by the CD changer and could not get his music.

that is when he finally called for help.

i was too stupefied at what i had just watched.

that bear is smarter than your average bear.

the prideful runneth………

today on my run, i passed a girl.

i thought i heard this girl speed up behind me to pass me.

so i ran a little faster,

dang-it-all if she did not pick up her pace too.

“what the!??? what is she thinking??”

of course, my inner voice was yelling, you are speeding up too, what is your problem?

i ignored my inner voice and started running faster.

so did she.

by the time i got to my ending destination, was i moving.

so was she.

i looked back and saw no one.

i did finally realize that my earrings were hitting my headphones every time i put my foot down.

i was racing myself,

and i barely won.

the week that could of killed me and not made me stronger

this week has been heck.

that’s right, a strong word, heck-diddly-doo.

monday: evaluation

tuesday-thursday: i know these days actually happened but they are a foggy, murky blur.

sleep: what is that?

things that made me feel stupid: IPAD, apple i-tunes download, director power something- or- other download, power point download, microsoft download, connecting IPAD to i-tunes fiasco, burning CD and anything else related to our computer that requires thought process.

things that made me go hmmmmmm: parents and children have the same set of rules and to not adhere to this makes the children have a lack of respect for the parents? last i checked i was the adult (barely) and my children can’t vote.

end-of-week-diagnosis:

but luckily i know how to deal with it:

now for your weekend reading enjoyment, the authoress chicka writes again:

THE HOLLYWOOD CONNECTION

Wednesday February 21st 2011 I and my whole family went to the Hollywood connection, the second funnest thing in my life.  My little, little life; so my mom and dad came and picked us up early! My Mom and Dad are so so so so so so so so nice, back to the story now. 

 We went to get my brother and sister they are handicapped, but they rock.  Their names are Emma, she’s older she is 13 years old, then there’s Benny, he is 12 years old. 

So then we started driving in the hot, overheated drive.  Luckily I brought a book to read, it’s called The Lost Hero I read 14 pages or more, and we were driving for hours in a not very relaxing car seat.  5 hours later we were there.  I wasn’t asleep.  You know how I said I read 14 pages or more?  I read like 20,000,000 pages because how long it was.  I was burning in my seat because how hot it was.

When I walked in I almost fainted!  The place was like, WOW! It is my first place I will take my children.  The place had mini-golf, something me and my brother Keaton loved!  It also had an arcade on the top level, they also had bumper cars, oh and a merry-go-round.  We got a card so we could go on any ride, my family split up I went with Keaton and Ella.  We started with mini-golf, I won I think, Keaton was pretty good Ella on the upper hand she beat Keaton.  Wait, no, I think Keaton and Ella tied!  Ok Rosy, stop stopping the story!! Ok, don’t freak out, sorry about that (Keaton stop kicking my legs!) Ok so then we went on a dragon ride, I’m not going on that again! After that we went roller blading, it was so smooth.  Ella was pretty good.  I fell on my butt one time, I had a bruise, then we ate dinner and I had a hamburger mmmmmm!

(EEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!) Stop it please! “Fine” Thank you. 

Then me and Ella went on the merry-go-round I sat there looking around, it wasn’t a bad look at things.

We went home, as we were walking to the car teen-agers got kicked out, they were swearing a lot.  Then we drove home.

The End

the admin on this site would like to point out that hollywood connection is in west valley, 45 minutes away, not 5 hours..