another developmental milestone reached

queen and bear have, yet again, reached another major milestone.

they have finally realized what sundays are really about:

002 003


that’s right, slothfulness. (that is a word in our home)

can i get an amen?

speaking of milestones, my little bird is extremely hard on herself; we spend many hours trying to tell her not to be.

here is our latest conversation while playing catch.

“bird! you don’t have to be perfect at everything! no one is perfect.”

“oh yeah? Jesus was perfect.”

damn sunday school.

“well, did you ever consider that someone should have just told him “hey, you really need to take it easy, no one is perfect”?


“i am willing to bet that no other mother in utah is having this conversation with their daughter on sunday in utah.”

sorry bird, you aren’t Jesus.



why is it hard to admit it is hard?

some days, well, quite simply, it is hard.

not hard like when the queen and bear where small, or when bear was struggling with violence.

hard in that my 15 and 16-year-old still require a lot of time.

hard in that they are not your typical teens.

hard in that some days i am tired of poop.

so, why do i feel like i am failing in some way by admitting that it is a challenge some days?

to admit that i am tired.

to admit that i would love to be able to just sit and read or watch tv without thinking that i have to plan an activity for bear and queen, to wonder if i am doing enough, to think of bath times, dinner, exercise, interactions.

admit that maybe my normal is sometimes abnormal enough that i wish for a day of normal just to see what it would be like.

then i think of these things:

bear kissing pointing his fingers into a gun, kissing the tips, then shooting.

that queen likes to take a bath with this:

that she hates dogs and cats but checks books out at the library all the time about them.

that bear truly misses me when he is at school and is so happy to see me when i get him.

i have to let myself admit that it is ok to say it is hard.

it is ok to tell people that yes, yes, i am tired.

it is challenging.

to admit that there are chinks in the armor i try very hard to keep up all the time and the past two days have made those chinks pretty large.

on a different note, i was able to get a pic with both queen and bear in the same frame, which is as elusive as nessie.


year-end review for 2013

since this is also our family’s journal, every year i try to do a high-light reel of our lives.

KEATS: he, by far, has the biggest changes happening in his life. he graduates in 2014, made some big changes, got a job, turned 18, thinking about goals, laptops, and great dane puppies, which must means he is planning on moving out because that is not happening my domicile.

QUEEN: had a big year of firsts. she had her sweet 16 party, she had her first formal dance, and she became more social than she has in her entire life.  the young women in the ward took the time to really get to know queen this year, here are some of the things they said about her: “she really listens when you talk to her.” “she is the purest, happiest person i have ever met.” “she has changed me.” “her smile says everything.” “you feel better just being around her.” “she does things at her own time and speed.” for the first time in queen’s life, she was seen for who she is and not her disability, and that made me cry for days after listening to these girls talk about our queen.


BEAR: started high school and spent the first two days of said higher education clearing the room of teachers, students, and aides (he likes to make an entrance.) he is now in a different class and doing well. he makes us laugh pretty much every single day and has moves that even jagger would covet.  he is the one that is on my mind the most with worry. he is also the one that spends new year’s eve in style.

003that is bear sleeping in his chair at 11:35 pm.

CHICKA: decided this is the year she was going to set goals.  she made it to regionals in track, state in softball, undefeated basketball season, learned the upright bass, and ran for student council becoming vice-president. she is your classic overachiever and clearly not related to any bloodline of mine.

BIRD: also made it to regionals in track, state in softball, had an undefeated basketball season, still plays drums and piano, and has decided she likes to do math just for fun. clearly another major evolutionary jump in our bloodline has occurred.  i  found out at P/T conf. that she spends her lunch recess helping the self-contained classroom students eat theirs. when i asked her about this she said, ‘yeah, but sometimes i am so hungry i just want to eat all their food.” and there we have the evolutionary leap back into my bloodline.

THE HUBBY: super sessy super star.

ME: started at UPS, found out what drivers make, brown in now my favorite color and i hope to one day terrorize the streets in a big truck.

flames a must.