queen’s journal november 26

november 26, 2013

i guess journals are for talking about crushes and i have had a couple in my life.

the first was this guy

what’s not to love? chiseled chin, big brown eyes, and in uniform.

i would watch tv with my arm around the tv.

but, i out grew him, he was too plastic.

next was this guy.

don’t judge a book by its cover.

sure, he is a rodent, but he is super friendly and always has pizza ready.

once, my parents had to physically remove me from chuck e cheese when it was time to go because parting was such sweet sorrow.

we still keep in contact on birthdays, but other than that i don’t get to see him much.

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useless things in my kitchen

let’s start with the biggest useless thing in my kitchen.

my stove.

i find it a piece of furnishing that puts unrealistic burdens on my time……like cooking.

tellicherry black peppercorns. i know, i do not know what they are either or how they ended up in my cupboard.

whole jamaica allspice. what……..the………heck!? is there someone secretly putting things in my cupboard while i am sleeping?

marjoram leaves. i don’t even know what foods to mix together to use these in.

poppy seeds. unless i am somehow trying to see if you really can use these babies for an opiate, i don’t want them around.

also some dried up just-add-water hash browns that the hubby brought home one day.

i am afraid to say i will have to be on the brink of death and starvation before i reconstitute those bad boys.

maybe i’ll add a little taste of jamaica when i do.

the de-cluttering continues, stay tuned.

i mostly just skipped 1,3, and 4 and went straight with 2.

my first step to hoarding

i am not sure what happened, but sunday i decided that my house needed some de-cluttering.

luckily, my children agreed and could not wait to help me.

ok, i lied on that last sentence.

anyhoo, today was the junk drawers and cupboard.

things i found:

copper pans.

place mats.

60 AAA batteries.

16 C batteries (i keep buying these thinking we need them, we don’t)

wood glue (we don’t even fix things)

gorilla glue (i could not remove the bottle as it somehow has glued itself onto the drawer, it also glued a measuring tape with it)

bubble wrap.

2 glue guns with approximately 100 glue sticks. (i don’t craft so this one still puzzles me)

more ex-lax that is legal.

a frightening amount of chapstick.

an even more frighteningly amount of dental floss. ( i have not flossed in approximately 41 years, which also happens to be my age)

6 ft of velcro (for reals???)

popcorn from last year’s christmas.

$20 subway cards.

and a flare.

it was when i found the flare that i realized my destiny was firmly underway to finding myself stuck on a commode in my kitchen surrounded by 67 cats.

at least i will have my flare for safety.

queen’s journal november 16

novemeber 16,2013

today i got soooo mad at my mom. i asked for a snack, she says “no, we just ate a big breakfast.” thinking i did not make myself clear, i let her know i wanted a snack by grabbing her hand. she says “i know what you are trying to tell me, but the answer is still no.” thinking she was still pretty dense, i used my loud yell and hand flapping to let her know i was really serious about my request.  all she said is “stop yelling, the answer is still no.” i stomped back to my bedroom pretty steamed. i don’t think i will talk to her the rest of the day. look, i know i am non-verbal but i can give the silent treatment with my eyes better than most people.

it’s called the angry eyes (usually given in a sideways glance)

queen’s journal november 13

november 13, 2013

yesterday i went for a bike ride with bird, bear, and chicka.

and when i say bike ride, i mean i rode the rickshaw while mom pedaled.

it really is a sweet gig, let me tell you some reasons why.

1) sometimes i like to ride next to chicka and give her a fist bump, like yesterday, so i just hit mom on the back and i magically go faster.

2) it’s a rickshaw; enough said.

of course, we have had some problems on it before. one time, during the summer, i had all the cold water with me in back when my mom suddenly stopped and asked for a drink saying she was dying of thirst.

i declined to share.

she told me if we were ever in a desert, she was not putting me in charge of water and i was hard-core.

if i could, i would have told her to bring her own water, everyone knows i don’t share my water.

if you don’t believe me, just check my water bottle, i backwash every time to make sure only i get to use it.

we stopped at the library where i checked out a couple of books.

here is one of them:

it’s a pretty good read and it’s green.

queen’s journal november 12

november 12, 2013 (or 11-12-13 if you are really cool)

i have learned a new trick.

i  say the word ‘mommy’.

i know this sounds so simple, but i never said it until a couple months ago.

mom went nuts.

i basically got anything i wanted; i can’t believe i waited 16.5 years to say this!

just to make sure it did not get old, i did not say it again until this morning.

sir sent her a text at work so i know she knows about it.

i can’t wait to see what i get when i get home from school.

genius.