we planned a lovely picnic today up the canyon at our favorite park.
our van had other ideas and refused to start in an act of outright rebellion.
i hate this van, i loathe this van, i would give this van up for adoption without blinking an eye.
in fact, it gives me angry eyes.
in its defense, the van was finally just giving us what we rightfully deserve after years of abuse and use.
unfortunately, bear did not understand why the van was not working and let it be known…..
here is where some life lessons were learned.
1) my son can really hurt me physically.
2) not only did it cause physical pain today, it caused my heart to break.
3) my son and daughter had to step in to help get their brother to stop hurting me.
4) this broke my heart even more.
5) once i let my tears come, which is rarely, it is very hard to stop them. it is like a damn that has been holding everything back that suddenly broke and i cannot stop the flow.
6) i realize that i have amazing children who can calm their brother with patience and maturity beyond their years.
7) this is not to feel sorry for myself, this is simply how it is. my heart does hurt, my heart does break, i do wonder if i am doing enough for my children and when it is all calm again and another storm has been weathered i realize we are closer than we were when we started.
and finally the most important life lesson learned:
8) just because you find a rabbit in a park and bring it home in a build-a-bear box does not mean you are magically a rabbit owner.
the only rabbits allowed in this house must look like this: