they won the battle

yesterday, my kids won the battle.

not a little skirmish, a battle.

i surrendered.i will let them bask in their fleeting, momentary glory before i join the fight again.

this is a war and i have been reading up on tactics from the master and will be up for combat again in exactly 3.5 hours. until then i shall be sipping tea with the pinkie up and eating crumpets.

that, or mowing the lawn.

the bear comes out of hibernation

we went to the resevior for a quick family dip the other day.

as luck would have it, so did a gaggle of girls from a group home.

luck for bear that is.

he went over to a gang of three and said “jump girls!” then proceeded to show them how to jump in the water.

they followed.

this boosted bear’s confidence to the nth degree.

he splashed.

he fake laughed.

he did his fake drowning moves.

when he came to get his googles so take a looksie underneath the water we put the brakes on rico suave.

who knew bear suddenly liked girls?

not only girls, but girls with long red hair and a rebellious streak.

i guess hibernation season is over.since this is a post about bear, he happened to give an eventful weekend, i shall say some more.

we went to a family gathering sunday in the park.

we met people we will probably never see again.

one nice person came over to visit me and bear while waiting for the food.

this person talked, smiled, and laughed.

that is until bear lifted up his arm and pointed saying “yellow teeth.”

pretending he was not saying anything i kept talking while this nice person somewhat paused and put my hand over bear’s hand.

he removed his hand and again pointed while again saying “yellow teeth.”

now, on top of all the life skills we are already trying to teach, oral hygiene (or lack there of) is now on the list of things to not point out.i am fairly certain we can cross off public relations as a potential career at this point.

the hardest thing……

i find one of the hardest things about motherhood is swallowing my irritation when dealing with an irritated child.

i have come to the conclusion that i have swallowed a lot of irritation over the past 15 years.

i have also come to the conclusion that it is not food that has caused my baby pooch.

oh no.

it is all the irritation i have swallowed.

which ironically, irritates me.

a question of opposite effect

i watched this movie:LOVED it! (that would be a two-syllable love rating)

made me realize we really do over stimulate our kids on a whole.

anyways, this is not a movie review, this is an observational post.

the women from nairobi in the movie do not wear anything on top.

i thought it would cut down on a lot of my fashion faux pas if this was the standard for our culture too.

still, this is not a fashion statement post.

and it made me wonder if that would cause the opposite effect.

in that country, is pornography pictures of women completely clothed?

hmmmmm……….

a recipe

as i was rolling papers the other day i noticed a headline that said “a recipe of a mormon woman” or something like that.

i tuned out at recipe.

still, it got me thinking what i would put in my recipe after living amongst the natives for 10 years now.

first:

add: one gigantic flower headband so your baby cannot hold her head up.a dash of ‘if it is not layered at least 4 layers thick in clothing then by golly do NOT leave the house.’

mix in 5.1 children in 5.2 years with one of the following names: mckay, golden, tanner, emma, joseph, mary, or esther.

one tsp of make sure they are all blond.

mix for 2 minutes with the following:if you cannot find this particular mixture, you may substitute the following:trust me, somewhere in the house of a mormon woman you will find a piece of tile with letters rubbed on it.

hint: the tiles took the place of the plastic grapes of yesteryear.after mixing, add a smidgen of ‘if it ain’t mod it ain’t touching this bod’ clothing.heat oven with a hairstyle that is jaw bone length on the sides and short in backbe sure it has highlights!

bake with plenty of the following:and shazam! one mormon lady extraordinaire.

to make the recipe a little more exciting you can always add family portraits in an orchard with no shoes on.

bon appetite!

over-mothering gear hyperactive

today i dropped my oldest off for his first day of high school.

down here in happy land, they start high school their sophomore year.

it does not help that his high school is roughly the size of rhode island.if you saw the school i went to, roughly the size of my house, you would understand my comparison.

come on all you grizzlies sing it with me ‘three cheers for newport high school…….’

we now return you back to the original post after that trip down nostalgia lane.

anyhoo, i guess he is used to big schools because his jr. high was roughly the size of stanton island.and i guess what i am trying to say is this, when i dropped him off and watched him walk to the doors i wanted to park my car and chase after him, then follow him to his locker to make sure it opened, then walk with him to 1st period to find it, then wait outside his door to walk him to the next class, which is outside in building E, then the next one in building I, and so on and so forth. i wanted to tell every kid i saw that my son was AMAZING and they had better be good to him.

i wanted him to need me.

i wanted the little boy i took to kindergarten back.

i was NOT ready to let him go this morning.

as i am still on a steep learning curve in this mothering gig i signed up for, i am learning that he never stops being the little dude i brought home and spent hours just staring at because i could not believe he was mine.

i am learning that i cannot be there every step to make things easy for him.

i am learning that the urge to over-mother is stronger than my urge for food.

mmmmmm……..cafe rio……..mmmmmmm……….steak quesadilla……extra steak………ok, i totally lied, food is still a stronger urge.

i will be glad to see him this afternoon so my stomach can calm down a tad.

i did not get a back to school pic of him because he was in no mood but here is one that is almost exact.good luck keats, you will succeed in this just as you have succeeded in every other thing you have tried.

now me on the other hand…….mmmmmm………..cafe rio………

an unfortunate wedgie

chicka asked me to polish her finger nails today.

after she was done she carefully got off the bean bag as to not smudge her nails and then proceeded to look uncomfortable.

“oh! i have a wedgie and i can’t do anything about it.” she said trying to dance it away.

“i’ll pull it out for you.” bird immediately offered.

although that is sisterly love to the unexpected degree, it was turned down.

“how about mom?” bird continued to offer.

“nope, not in my job description.” i pointed out.

chicka suffered through the wedgie until her nails were dry.

the price of beauty has unexpected pay-outs.