bull-own-eee

i learned something about my heritage these past days traveling through hot, dry, arid locations with a full van and no a/c.

the pioneers were NOT a happy people i have been led to believe they were.they did not sing.

they did not dance.

and i happen to think they were an angry people.

any revelation may or may not have been caused by heat exhaustion.

in fact, bear was asking ‘”go swimming?” through most of the mojave desert.

me?

i was truly considering just how committed i was to this marriage and if a man with a air-conditioned car drove by would i be willing to stay.

it was iffy.

the hubby got pulled over in nevada for speeding.

two vacations.

two states.

two meet-n-greets with the local po-po.

2 miles south of st. george, the van decided it had enough of hauling our behinnies around the U.S. of A and decided to quite running.

immediately.

bear, seeing the immediate stoppage of his pilgrimage home, immediately let his displeasure be known.

and it went awry from there.

turns out, the side of the freeway by st. george is rather thorn laden.

turns out, bear found every thorn to step on in .5 seconds after leaving the vehicle.

ok, i may be exaggerating, but it was a lot.

and he yelled.

a lot.

a very nice man from springville (of all places) stopped to help us.

he had exactly 6 spots in his car (of all the spots, it was the exact number we needed) and offered to give me and the kidlets a ride.

he had a/c and leather seats.

my iffy marital status was considered as mentioned above.

turns out, i am still into the hubby.

we tried comfort inn first.

there was no room at the inn.

i was feeling like the virgin mary, except i am not a virgin and my name is not mary.

we found neither comfort nor inn at this particular location.

evidently, most local lodgings were filled to capacity.

there was a convention in town.

a jehovah witness convention that is.now, i ain’t got nothin’ against the j of dubs, i would have been irritated at any convention, even a chocolate convention that offered free samples, or at that very moment, a hard liquor convention that offered free samples that would have been partaken of freely.

we were in an echoing lobby at midnight with bear and queen echoing, very loudly, their displeasure with the situation.

the very nice Samaritan loaded us, once again, into his lovely, cool, leather-bound suburban to the next motel that did have a room for us.

once again we echoed in the lobby.

finally found a room, kids showered, thorns removed from feet, music man on (they could not find cartoon network; could this night get any worse?!) and beds in each of the rooms assigned.

the hubby shows up, van in dropped off at shop, 1:30 am and i think “well, that wasn’t so bad”

of course, our bumper cover did fly off somewhere in the middle of nevada.

awesome.

stop the canonization!

many people call the hubby a saint.

is it because he works miracles?

no.

is it because he has seen the Holy Mother in unsuspecting places?

no.

is it because he has seen Jesus on a piece of bread?

no.

it is because he married me.

i am still, after 10 years, trying to process if that is a good or bad reflection upon myself.

well i am here to tell, with proof, that he is not saint.

as you may recall, earlier i mentioned our ongoing list battle.

soon after that post was posted, i came downstairs to the hubby pointing at the cupboard stating that his list was posted and i was not allowed to do anything on it.

on his list? dishes, fold laundry, and breakfast.

awesome list.

i was especially impressed that breakfast was on his list of things to do.

i got the lawn mower out to mow the lawn when he came running out of the house.

“THAT IS ON MY LIST!!!” he yelled.

“i did not see any list.” i pointed out.

“it is in my head.” he said.

although he is an easy read, i did not happen to see that item on his list.

“it was already on my list from 2 days ago.” i stated.

“not true!!” he countered.

“go look on the microwave and you will see my list.” i believe in rolling over lists, what does not get done one day moves to the next until completed.

“i’m an unbeliever.” he said while going in to find the list.

he was quiet when he came back out.

“how many more times are you going to get knocked down?” i asked

“as many times as i need to.”

then he came down the stairs to give me his mini-leg kick.

those of you who know the hubby also know his height is not in his legs, in fact they de-heighten his height.

“that is not fair! you know i cannot defend against the mini-kick!” i lamented.

and it is true, every time he uses his mini-legs in a fair fight i end up laughing to hard to defend myself.

so, to wrap this little post up nicely and get on with my list let me state this again.

the hubby is NOT a saint.

he is a list stealer.

and a mini-kicker.

 

the bear ages

last friday the bear turned 13.

and what a 13 years it has been!!

we went to lava hot springs to celebrate this most momentous occasion.

and, in bear and queen style, they made it even more momentous.

this particular day, they both were enamoured with the indoor pool.

bear spent most of his time jumping around the pool in the water.

and queen?

for some reason, she felt that day was the day to make spring-board diving board momentous.she has never even been interested in a diving board before.

as i was helping queen walk onto the diving board all of a sudden i hear bear start yelling.

in pain.

“OOOOWWWWWW…….OOOOOWWWWWW………AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

now when bear yells in pain, there is growling involved in his voice.

indoor pools echo……a lot.

i dived into the pool to get to bear leaving queen to bounce her merry little momentous legs off on the diving board with people standing in line behind her waiting thier turn.

don’t worry, they were not watching her, not even the lifeguard was watching her, all eyes and ears were focused on bear.it could not be helped, he was much distressed.

as i was carrying him out of the pool (mom adrenaline was pumping because bear in the 140s now) i kept looking over my shoulder at queen watching her still bounce away.

everyone was still watching bear.

once seated i saw the problem.and not a little one.

holy charlie horse.

have you ever tried to help a bear in the wild?

it was the same thing.

keats heard the ruckus and came running in from the outdoor pool.

“go get sir.” i said while trying to get bear’s calf muscle in the shape of a calf muscle and not a ball.

“did you know queen is on the diving board?” keats asked.

why yes, yes i did.

in the end, after more yelling, removal of queen from the diving board she deemed a trampoline, and the return of the calf muscle we again enjoyed the joys of lava hot springs.

of course bear still made me go on this:and of course, epic wedgie occurred.

and of course, he is the only person in the world who can get me to go on these slides.

and of course, i would do it every time because he does ask.

i love this dude more and more with each passing year.

the love plane

last week the hubby and i took off for his long-awaited trip to seattle he had won.

we arrived 2.5 hrs ahead of flight scheduled take-off per the hubby.

as we were about to board, we were informed our plane was not ‘flight worthy’ and the mechanic was getting right on it.

oh %^&*

3 hour delay to delay our love trip.

“let’s just leave the airport and go into SLC” the hubby said.

“i went on vacation the second we stepped into the airport, i am not leaving this building until friday when step out of the airport to go home.” i said.

we ended up in dick clark’s airport restaurant watching the USA/FRANCE soccer game.

then we waited.

then we waited some more on the plane that they loaded us on.

i realized two things during all this sitting and waiting.

i have hairy knees, apparently i miss them regularly with the razor given the hair growth i was looking at.then i looked out my window and saw the wing engine that was deemed ‘unworthy for flight’ right below me.

oh #$%^

we had a fantastic hotel, we had a fantastic view of downtown and we had a fantastic time.

i tried a wrap called ‘the jerusalum garden’ from a mediterranean restaurant.

all i can say is it must have had some sermon on the mount miracle magic workin’ because i ate avacado, tomato, provolone, and lettuce.

i don’t eat veggies.

i liked it.

oh &*($

we also hit a mariner’s game.

i felt really bad because we sat in front of a guy with a severe mental disability.

apparently it is so severe he had to say the ‘f’ word every other word.

jesus love him.

the hubby got pulled over by a cop in everett.

he was pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt.

here’s the catch in the whole pull-over.

i had mine on.

i usually don’t.

the hubby’s driving was so bad i voluntarily put it on.

it made me say……

oh $%^&

he did not get a ticket.

he should have.

his driving was punishable in all 50 states.

i did learn something important.

airport security checks for all things that could potentially hurt us.

but they miss something that hurts us all.

badly.

Body Odor.

if you are going to be flying.

wear deodorant.

especially if you are going to be putting luggage in the section above my head.

oh %^&*

the battle of the list continues

i am a list maker.

i need my lists.

without them i am listless.

the hubby is always trying to steal my lists.

“i have my lists, you have yours.” i tell him.

“can’t we share a list?” he asked.

i am very possessive of my lists; like i said, i need them.

he says he is blind to whatever needs to be done around the house.

he just can’t see it.

i say, how do you miss seeing mt kilimanjaro in the shape of unfolded laundry?

as i was leaving to run an errand with bird yesterday, the hubby came out to the car to bid us adieu and started to say again “i am blind…….”

i stopped him mid-sentence by saying “and i am not your seeing eye dog.”

we sat there and stared at each other for a moment.

“oh come on! you know that was a good one!” i said.

“i know! but i don’t want to give you the satisfaction of admitting it!” he replied.

no, my lists are my lists, he can make his own.

the hardest part about appendicitis

chicka and i ended up in the hospital at 3:30 am saturday morning.

turns out her appendix was tired of residing in her body.and demanded immediate removal.

when the surgeon was done doing his quick explanation he asked if she had any questions while walking towards the door.

“why yes, yes i do.” she said

that stopped not only the surgeon, but the anesthesiologist cold and they both sat back down.

she asked about stitches, cuts, hurting.

the anesthesiologist gave an even more in-depth explanation of everything that would happen in surgery.

as he left, chicka looked at me and said “i wish i had not asked, i really did not want to hear about that tube down my throat.”

she got out of surgery about 10:30 and was released at 2 pm.

we might say she is a fast rebounder.

here she is holding court with the masses to show her pics of surgery:

 

then, when that made her too tired, she moved the show to the porch:she has been a trooper.

the hardest thing this whole surgery has caused for chicka is that it has seriously cramped her social life.

she can’t swim for one week, she cant’ ride her bike or scooter yet, she can barely walk down 1/2 the street and WORSE, she has had to stay home ALL DAY.

the horror!

a post script:

the hubby has this thing that if one of us does not feel good, he too will have the symptoms within hours.

if i have a headache, he has a headache.

if i have a stomach ache, he has a stomach ache.

i am genuinely surprised he has not had a period yet.

“so, did your appendix start hurting yesterday.” i asked him today.

“what of it?” he asked.

“really!?” chicka asked.

“i could not help it, i was feeling your pain!” the hubby said.

one thing about the hubby, he is always there for us.