before we get to the salacious novella chicka penned, i would like to submit the quote of the day.
“i found a place to put all my books.” keats informed me.
“oh yeah? where?”
“my dresser drawers, it’s not like i was using them for anything anyways.”
and his is right.
there are no clothes in his dresser drawers, the are everywhere else.
now onto the nitty-gritty.
in chicka’s class, they were given a cereal box and then told to write a story about the name on the box.
chicka’s box was Cap’n Crunch…..old school
and this is what she came up with; so grab yer readin’ glasses, cup-o-joe and snuggle into read some 3rd grade literary genius.
The Terrible Voice
By: Rosy Stoddard
If you are reading this, you are going to love it, or hate it, or your ears are going to hate me for life! Now my story begins with a ship, a gigantic ship that only kept four people on board. The people‘s names are Cap’n, Elephant, Sailor, Little Girl and Ugly Lady. See, the Ugly Lady loves Cap’n, but Cap’n doesn’t love the Ugly Lady. The Ugly Lady has the worst voice ever! And this is how the story begins.
It was a cold, stormy, windy night, the waves were hitting the ship with all their might, but none heard a sound. They were all asleep. Ugly Lady couldn’t stop herself from snoring. The snoring was as terrible as her VOICE, that’s pretty bad. People kept getting up even the Cap’n woke up and he is on the top floor and even the people on land were waking up and they’re 100 miles away from land!
The Ugly Lady’s voice is 10 times worse than snoring. Cap’n gets ear plugs for the people and for everyone they pass. The Ugly Lady’s favorite song was Proud Mary, but now it is Baby Girl. The worst song ever! And she loves it! It is on Just Dance 1 and 2. It’s very fun. She was so FAT! Her bottom hit everything! Sometimes the Cap’n had to hide Just Dance 2 because it has Baby Girl! Cap’n took a nap and it was the worst thing he’d ever done! The Ugly Lady got Just Dance and did Baby Girl! When Cap’n woke the deck was destroyed. Everything was gone. I can’t say what it looked like! Everybody was ok, most were hiding. Ugly Lady was in the middle of the mess playing you know what Just Dance 2. Cap’n was furious! The little girl told Cap’n what happened. He was still mad. He locked up the Wii game and put it in the ocean. Everything was fine for now. Ugly Lady knows where JustDance is, but they worry about Glee Karaoke. That’s where you sing not a good sign, remember her voice? It’s like fingernails clawing a chalk board! Terrible isn’t it? The people on the ship have to wear earplugs all DAY! They think its ok for now, but this is just the beginning of the Ugly Lady’s history!
So Cap’n was on the computer looking up the history of the Ugly Lady that said she won the silver medal for the worst voice and the worst dance! “Oh no.” whispered Cap’n his mind was racing. He knew the Ugly Lady loved him “NO” he thought. But you can’t change the heart.
Then out of the blue Cap’n heard a scream! He ran to find the Ugly Lady crying. Cap’n asked “What happened?”
Ugly Lady replied “The little girl fell into the ocean.”
The Cap’n’s daughter was the little girl! The Cap’n’s heart stopped a heartbeat. He went to his room he was heartbroken, but Ugly Lady was the one who killed the Cap’n’s girl! She put water on her face and acted all sad. Ugly Lady said “Now that she is gone I can kiss the Cap’n and marry him!” she laughed so loud the Cap’n heard it.
He tip-toed to the Ugly Lady’s room and saw her laughing weirdly. He asked “What are you laughing about?” Ugly Lady stopped laughing and told a lie! She answered “I was watching T.V. and a guy told a funny joke!” She laughed again. Cap’n went back upstairs and started to sob. His little girl was gone and is never coming back!
Just then the ship started to sink. Elephant was gone and Sailor was gone too. The Ugly Lady was singing! The ship was going down fast! Cap’n got a little boat and got Ugly Lady on it. Then the ship sank. Ugly Lady kissed him!
The Ugly Lady took off a mask, she was very beautiful! Then Cap’n and the Pretty Lady got married and lived happily ever after.