spectacular spectacular

to steal a movie line…. ‘spectacular, spectacular no words in the vernacular, can describe this main event, you’ll be struck by wonderment.’

and struck by wonderment we were!

today was queen’s and bear’s district wide special- ed junior high sports spectacular;

and oh was it spectacular!!!

queen did the softball throw, 7″ was her farthest…….the steroids totally worked.

my family swears it beats my softball throw from 3rd grade and i swear i threw 8″.

bear’s relay team came in second, he was the first leg and handed off the baton like a pro. (he is still wearing his medal 7 hours later)

queen did a golf putt and on her second attempt she came within an inch of the hole.

even more impressive because she was not even looking.

bear did the high jump. he got an excellent running start, came to the bar, considered the bar, then promptly went under the bar. one cannot raise the bar to high for bear. i credit this event to the human growth hormones.

queen did the 25 meter dash, she dashed for approximately 5 meters and then basically told us we were nuts all with a look.

bear did the 25 meters and can run to accentuate his calf muscles like no other.

bear also did the softball throw. the hubby and i both agreed that if a screaming baby was there to aim at and prayer was being said (he does his best work undercover) he would have won the event.

upon making it to the medal stand to received his medal with his relay team, bear suddenly became over-come with emotion (or just tired) and sat down not even leaving when his team left. i was waiting for the raised fist of solidarity at any moment. to culminate this already fantastic day, they had a dance at the end.

and what…..a…..dance!!!!!

macarena, chicken dance, YMCA, love story, i’m blue and then the kids would get in a big circle with a person going in the middle to show their moves.

bear added tap dancing to his repetiore, and queen was movin’ and a groovin’.

my favorite? when one athlete started flexing and kissing his muscles.

if you ever want to have fun, serious fun, go to a dance where no one cares what anyone else thinks and let it all hang out.

i saw some teacher aides doing moves i am certain their family NEVER knew they could do.

ok, maybe i worked up some sweat doing some fan-tasti-licious moves.

thank you, thank you, thank you, for all the people who worked so hard to give my kids a ‘normal’ day.

for the record, us ‘normal’ folks in attendence were the totally ‘abnormal’ ones.

bear’s relay team

the queen crossing the finish line of her 25 meter dash which we already established as her 5 meter dash 20 meter mosey.


in preparation

tomorrow queen and bear have their sports extravaganza.

foot races, golf swings, frisbee golf, relays, and all sorts of sports mayhem.

to prepare them we have been pumping them with every illegal anabolic substances and human growth hormones.

by the time we are done, they should look like an east german woman from one of the early 90’s olympics.here in stodmor land we expect results not excuses.

to communicate or not to communicate that is the question:

lately, the hubby and i have been talking about queen.

she is saying more words and seems on the cusp of taking off.

how to help this take-off we just don’t know.

until today.

we found the communication board we have been looking for.a touchscreen that talks and has hundreds of downloads to use. queen is most definitely smart enough to learn this and this will allow her to communicate with people outside the family and make her as independent and possible.

one word for this wonder: dynovox.

one number and one letter as to why we need to find a way to get this: 5k to purchase.

don’t worry, we will my pretties, we will. things are already in the works.

not so much this:

but this:

a request and chivalry is dead:

“hey you are speeding!” a gentleman of late retirement age yelled at me as i ran by him up a large hill.

“do you wanna come over and carry me?” i yelled back.

he ignored me.

what precedes us:

“you don’t have any late fees today, i am so proud of you!” the video store manager said as she checked in our movies.

either we live in a small town or we have a reputation.

our town has more than 60k so i don’t think it is small.

just your typical 13 year old

we got queen’s grades today in the mail.

she is getting a B in women’s chorus.

i don’t know about you, but i like this teacher.

i personally think queen’s C note might be a little pitchy.

the hubby and i met at costco today during his lunch break to eat and do some shopping.

he got to pick lunch.

he picked the new carne asada bake. he chose wrong.

i am glad we only bought one to split,

because i call it the carne apoopa.

but right now, at this very moment, my tongue is in frozen paradisegood because they don’t taste healthy.

100 calories per bar.

tonight after dinner, bear was able to get one of the springs to pop off the trampoline.

realizing his awesome power of awesomeness,

he proceeded to try to pop more off.

he did.

we thought he broke a window.

we shall try to hide this talent under a bushel.

a consumer warning

i made jennie-o turkey breast tonight for dinner.

from “freezer to oven” it stated on the package in just “1.5 to 2 hours!” it continued the chant.

it even came with a little pop-up thermometer to make sure i knew just when it was done.

i removed from a freezer and put it into an oven just as directed to, then left it alone to work its magic.

i took it out at the designated time and trusted jennie-o so much that i did not even check the turkey until it was time to cut it for dinner.

at this time i realized that not only did the pop-up thermometer not pop, i am pretty certain that it sank back into the turkey.i’m afraid it is going to take a long time for jennie o and myself to mend our relationship.

today we purchased the stomp rocketwinner of 4 prestigious awards,

all well deserved.

oodles of fun all within stomping distance.

one participant in our stomp-a-thon stated “oh yeah? you wanna see how high it can go?”

and proceeded to shoot the rocket at maximum speed,

right into the participant’s eye.

of all the awards listed on the obviously dangerous toy,

not once did it mention the following:

and last,

no matter how many times this thing tells you it is a plumber:don’t listen to it and stick it up the faucet in your bathroom.

if you do, you too can end up like this:i am just going to sleep on this one tonight.

and so will mousey, safe and sound in our faucet.

a weekend in our universe

i realized as i watched 4 out of 5 of my procreations walk in front of me just how distinct their personalities are.

i also realized that my heart really does feel like it could burst watching them.

powerful little creatures they have turned out to be.

we started our weekend learning that even though 30 minutes is not really that late;

it is if you don’t trust the person your kids are with to actually bring them home,

then 30 minutes is a lifetime.

one would think one would have learned to use a phone by now.

saturday we learned toys have been taken from our home on a regular basis.

the thief confessed along with taking down some blood relatives in the confession.

we learned that it is still hot enough to sweat while biking to the pool.

we learned that keats will get whistled at by the lifeguard for dunking bear too much.we learned that the head mama thought it was really funny and bear found satisfaction in it by saying “YES!”

we learned that chicka totally f.r.e.a.k.s. outs up in a dark canyon with just a fire and lantern.

we learned that she should not be the one holding the lantern because she is constantly jerking it everywhere to check every corner,

which is hard as a canyon technically has no corners.

it was no longer a lantern in chicka’s hands, more like a lightning bug,¬† you see the light but it is totally useless.

we learned that when the hubby hears rustling in the bushes behind him he continually keeps looking back, although it is pitch black and you cannot see anything.

we learned that chicka, who is already freaked out, now sitting in the hubby’s lap, begs the hubby to quite looking back into the bushes because it really is not helping her freak out.

and i agreed with her as my freak-out patience mode was wearing freakishly thin.

we learned that bird refuses to poop in the woods.

“please! we have to go NOW!!!” she cried.

evidently a tsunami of epic proportions was heading out the far end of bird and evacuation of the canyon was necessary.

we learned that we are very sufficient at putting out a fire.

we are even more sufficient at making more smoke than is legal;

then choking and coughing back to the van only to realize we left all the van windows and doors open so there was really no difference in the smoke outside and our van.

smokey would have totally been proud of us.

i personally learned that bird can hold her breath for remarkably long periods of time.

“watch how long i can hold my breath mom.” bird chirped.

then she stood in front of me.

i saw her breathing.

“even though i am talking, i am still holding my breath.”

she continued to hold her breath.

she did not even turn blue.

from my calculations she holds her breath 24 hours a day.


we learned that one sibling can make another sibling believe that the playground is a virtual bakugan treasure trove as all students just throw their bakugan willy nilly for anyone to find.

this sibling even had the other sibling looking up rain spouts because they were told they get thrown up on the roof and the magnetic part of the bakugan sticks inside the rain spout.

much pounding of the rain spout sadly did not produce a bakugan.

by the end they were even looking under park benches.

i love my evil genius.

i learned that when my girls request to paint,

i should probably do more than just assume they would be using paperan apple tree, apples on ground and roots under grass.

the ocean, fingers are clouds, then ocean, then sand.

and finally,

we got an unexpected check in the mail.

i l.o.v.e. unexpected checks.

we could not figure out how to spend it.

if we play our cards right,

we can each buy a tootsie pop.and, for a closing thought,

i think Schroeder is the coolest peanut’s character.

the end.

so random even random said it was random

where to start? where to start?

yesterday the queen hung with the head mama.

we ran some errands ending at the grocery store.

queen loves to shop.

water bottle: given

glitter ball with eye ball: enough times chosen to not be surprised

tic tacs: what? this was new. either she was trying to tell me that my breath needed that only one calorie per tic tac goodness or she was onto something new and exciting to taste.

turns out it was neither, she just wanted to smell them.i made some cookies for some friends to give out today.

i asked the bird to hold one of the bags for me as we left for school this morning because my hands were full.

she is such a good daughter, she did not even blink an eye to help me.

she also did not even blink an eye when she stole the same bag of cookies and took it to school with her.i would have come home and replaced them except for the last night and this morning i did my very best to eat every single extra one.

and i succeeded.

last night i had the most crazy dream.

eugene knocked on my front door.

apparently, eugene had gone all jacob marley on menot only was he a ghost,

he was a younger, spryer  eugene.

when i stated to run from him, he caught up…..easily.

i looked to my right and saw my wing man, or should i say wing woman: jennseeing my obviously impressive back-up i yelled to gene:

“you think you can take on two reneer girls!?”

i don’t know if he could because at the moment my alarm went off.

and i was glad.

show nothing

when in court, i am told to show no emotion.




even though some of the things i heard made me feel this:

while other things made me feel this:


i just felt like this:

i did not show emotion.

i just stared ahead and needed oodles of this:that is, until monday.

as the hearing was progressing, the commissioner (same as a judge but deals only in family court) asked for a show of hands for all those present who were there as a witness, wrote a letter, or came in support of me.

i happened to look back.

it made me feel much emotion.

the gallery was full of hands.

literally, rows of hands.

i cried.

my ability to show no emotion was gone.

there were people who took off work.

there were people who traveled from out of state.

there were people who changed their schedules;

all to be there.

these people love my children;

and for that,

i love them, to the point that my heart burst in that moment.

i cannot fully explain what the past 6-7 weeks have been like for our family.

i did not realized the extent i was feeling it until tuesday when i woke up and realized that part was over.

all charges were dropped,

fees were assessed (a lot)

and we move on to the next phase.

i suddenly felt tired.

i slept for two hours in the middle of the day.

i don’t do that.

i fell asleep at 9:20 last night, i could not keep my eyes open.

every day i feel like i am so tired i just want to sleep.

the hubby pointed out that since august 6th i have not slept much at all.

and when i did sleep,

the dreams were very vivid.

i did not have dreams last night.

all this, because we had a court room full of people willing to raise their hands in support of us.

thank you.

truly, you have much love and respect from the folks in stodmor land.