a sure sign somebody loves you

how does one show true love?

by tearing off the epidermis with their fingernail while mad in the shape of a heart

(that’s right mikey, i hurried home from church to get this up before you got home.)

family movie night

we watched this movie last nightin the movie a black flame candle must be lit by a virgin to summon the witches back from the dead.

it was.

which led to the following bedtime conversation between chicka and keats

“you could totally light the candle keats, you are the right age.”

“no i could not for two reasons:

1. i am not a virgin”

the hubby and i have no idea what the second reason was because we were stifling laughter at this point.

“oh, i guess you can’t then.” was the final consensus from chicka.

my new grudge

i personally hold Pixar responsible for making this impossible

by showing this in all the toy story movies

there are now parents across the world who have fallen in their children’s eyes because they can’t draw Big Al on the etch a sketch.

thanks.

thanks a lot.

a career we know he won’t be having

this morning bear went on the paper route with me.

that’s what he gets for waking up at 3:30 am.

i handed him a paper and told him to throw it out the window.

he did.

then looked at me and said ,

“please stop it now.”

no tips for bear this morning.

Advertisements

little ms. know-it-all

“i know everything.” i told bird in the car today.

“oh yeah? what did Jesus’ Dad say? Hmmmmm?” was the haughty reply.

do i answer in blasphemy? religion? defeat?

“i don’t know.” i admitted.

“that’s what i thought.”

she is so smug.

it has been awhile since my last confession:

i am wearing swimsuit bottoms today because i was too lazy to go downstairs and get underwear.

confession #2

if i looked as good as the picture above, i would not wear anything but swimsuit bottoms all day all the time.

coming full circle

8 years ago a car clipped us on the freeway and we wrecked our van.

i was 5 months preggers with chicka,

6 months married to mark,

and the big three already ruling the roost.

“don’t worry, we will buy a van before the baby is born.” the hubby assured me.

the hubby had a honda.

a honda civic hatchback, red, black leather seats, and he LOVED that car.

sadly,

he had to sell that car to have money to buy a van 9 days before chicka was born.

poor man went from being a single, free, and a honda owner to married, step-father to three and new baby in less than a year.

who would not mourn?

well, 8 years later, mark has finally got his manhood back

of course we are going to have to man up the inside a bit

it is full of hearts.

who cares!? THE HUBBY GOT HIS HONDA BACK!!!!!!

an update on the rest of the clan

keats: got 100% on his history test today. came home yesterday and asked me to study with him. yeah, i am proud.

queen: shopping list: nutter butters, ice cream cones, gummi bears and smart water. yeah, i am proud.

bear: “he is still finding himself hilarious. he spent the day imitating a student and giving everyone kisses.” was the teacher note home today. yeah, i am proud.

chicka: learning Fur Elise on the piano right now, does not know who she is in love with at the moment. yeah, i am proud.

bird: is obsessed with this question “can boys see girls naked?” “is it a law or a rule?” “what about when i am 16, is it still a rule?” “why can dad see you naked?” why can dad see queen naked?” “can girls see girls naked?” maybe a little proud?

answers: 1: no 2: depends on the age and if you break the law you go to jail. 3:HECK YES!!!!! 4: because i signed my soul over when i signed the marriage certificate.  5: because queen needs help bathing and dressing herself but only dad, keats never looks. 6: yes, unless you notice one really staring at you.


a ghost in my own house

“STOP DOING THAT!!!” my husband emphatically told me while waving his arms.

“doing what?! do you think i am still trying to scare you?”

this conversation has been going on for months now.

the hubby is certain that i am purposely scaring him when i walk into a room that he is in.

“all i am doing is walking in a room mark, i am NOT trying to scare you.”

“yeah, well i am having conversations in my head and i don’t hear you coming.”

well if that is not a warning sign, i don’t know what is.

for a while, anytime i would walk into a room that he was already in i would say “I AM WALKING IN THE ROOM AND NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU.”

he felt i was just being condescending.

we continued this conversation down to queen’s room and continued it back up the stairs.

i got up the stairs before him and hid.

when he got up the stairs i jumped out and yelled.

he spilled his water.

“see, that is what it is like when i am trying to scare you. i just wanted you to know the difference so you can stop falsely accusing me.” i explained to his incredulous face.

“are we going to do this right now?” the hubby said while assuming his wrestling stance.

“no, i am just giving you an example so you know the difference, no harm done.”

i don’t know if this will make him stop accusing me,

but i personally enjoyed scaring him.

i have no meaning in my life since this show is no longer on

at least on wednesday night i have no meaning in my life.

so i get all kinds of crazy ideas.

ideas like i can cook and it ends badly.

like this

why did they burn?

because i have a short attention span and my full attention was given to this

i watched it repeatedly and laughed repeatedly.

sigh.

i need glee.

all in the eye of the beholder

“you know, it has been my experience that midgets are feisty.” keats informed us while doing homework this afternoon.

“really? do you have midgets at your school?”

“yeah.” he said.

“how many?”

“at least 1/4 of the school.”

silence from sir.

let’s be honest here, if there were that many midgets at keats’ school,

i would be there every day.

ps. keats has one midget at his school. and yes i already knew that.

a scavenger hunt

this is eugene after going through our car and not finding anything worthwhile

i think that next garbage day i will put something worthwhile for him to find in my garbage can.

speaking of worthwhile,

bear felt that since he has conquered the mighty halls of MJHS, home of the mustangs, with his student of the month award,

he would now try to conquer keats’ school of awesomeness.

keats said he is not ready to issue a diploma yet.