top nine of 09 in stodmor land

9. happened just tonight. went up to fix the antenna for my dad on the roof. roof is covered in ice. i slide down ice saying “s@#$” with chicka and her little friend listening by the open window. this sends them running downstairs saying “MOM IS FALLING OFF THE ROOF!!”  which sends the hubby running upstairs to the open window asking “what do i do?” to which chicka responded “GET OUT THERE!!!” to the hubby. sliding some more off the roof i grab the antenna to stop my fall only to make it worse for my dad which i tried in the first place to make better.

8. “did you know your daughter is jumping on the trampoline naked?”

7. after telling a gramma that no one pees in the fountain i was letting the queen play in, i take the queen out and start walking away only to turn around to see bear with his pants around his ankles peeing in the fountain.

6. “i’m looking for benjamin morrison’s mother” the phone call from officer wallace began. the same officer wallace who happened to have bear at the downtown day care.

5. the hubby’s infamous fall that made a car stop in the middle of the street while the driver jumped out to make sure he was okay. i was laughing inside.

4. having to use the ladder to climb onto my roof to break into my house after the hubby locked me out….again….”accidentally”

3.having to physically remove queen from chuck e cheese after realizing she was madly in love with chuck e cheese himself.

2. keats telling us he believes we came from monkeys. his reason? we have thumbs.

1. after going down the big slide, bear decided to stay in the slide which sent the lifeguard after bear, which sent bear running back up the slide saying “WHOA!” which sent  me running down 111 stairs to get him out of the slide so the other 100 people waiting could use the slide could slide.

happy new year!!!!!!


now this is what i have been trying to explain

we have a neighbor who lives just south of us.

he rides his bike every where and if not riding he is walking.

he does not necessarily think that showering is important.

he thinks that brushing his teeth is even less important.

he would be,

in mainstream society,

considered mentally disabled.

blaine has helped me out more times than i can count since moving into our humble abode.

this morning was not different.

i was out shoveling when blaine came and started helping me.

the thing with blaine is that i can only understand every 5th word he says.

except what he ends all his discussions with, and that is

“well now you know.”

that little saying is always clear as day.

you see blaine has very set ideas of how things should work.

he explains them in great detail looking intently at me the whole time.

then when done explaining he looks at me.

and you know what?

he finds me a complete idiot.

so much so that he explains the whole process of reasoning again.

this is my point i have been trying to make and he is the perfect example.

in blaine’s world,

he IS the normal.

we are all mentally challenged individuals that he needs to explain the process of shoveling, biking, growing a garden, and any other think he has helped me around the house with.

so, next time we see a mentally challenged individual, hand flapping individual, rocking individual….


they are thinking YOU are the strange one for not understanding the complete relaxation that comes from hand flapping and rocking and they feel sorry for YOU.

thank you blaine.

you have made everything black and white for me for a brief moment today.

a stunning realization……

this blog is who i am.

fighting to survive without imagining my children are rich, chewy, delicious chocolate chip cookies that i want to eat when stressed.

i am not an autistic circus.

i really don’t want to be famous with that.

i started this blog because it was just an idea.

then it became cathartic.

then i started sharing so much that i could not make eye contact with people i saw at church.

we have never stood up and said “look at us, we have autistic kids!!”

i have five kids all the same to me.

all with distinct personalities

and each with the ability to drive me to tears and binge eating frenzies of delight.

i don’t want to be famous.

i really don’t.

so, now that my confessional is through,

i will posting only on this site from here on out.

of course, you are still more than welcome to buy my book once i get that all squared away 🙂

why my kids make me proud

first of all, i brewed them in my belly and popped them out like a cork flying off a bottle of a fine beverage.

second, these are the gifts they got for queen, picking them out on their own

they know their sister so well!

and as i watched queen open her presents, it made me melancholy.

she has made some big strides this year,

we have always considered her ageless.

in some ways she is such a pre-teen.

in some ways she is such a 12-year-old.

in some ways she has an old soul.

and in some ways she is still about 3 years old.

her favorite presents, besides the ones pictured above,

are a light up glow-worm, and a light up phone.

oh, and one spitting dinosaur.

it is times like these that maybe her disability, that we don’t seem to really notice all that much,

suddenly stands up and makes us take notice.

yes, it makes me wonder when she is 20 years old what type of present will be her favorite.

when i was christmas shopping last week, i saw an older women with her sister, who was also older and mentally disabled,  in the toy aisle picking between a Dora and doll a littlest pet shop toy.

the sister and her husband were so patient and the sister with the mental disability was clearly excited and had her nails painted bright red.

i could not help but wonder if that was the queen’s future with her sisters.

i wish i had a crystal ball that could tell me what is in store for my kids.

i probably would not worry so much.

until then, i will watch her fall asleep with her glow-worm playing beautiful music and her face illuminated by the soft light.

and what do i think watching that?

that i am a remarkably blessed mother to be able to witness it.

dr doolittle she ain’t

queen hates animals.

hate is a strong word, and still it is not strong enough to really express how queen feels about animals.

that being said,

they love her.

or at least her chair, in her room, right under her feet.


she purposely kicks them.

speaking of animals…….

this is jerry the hamter’s new home in which he abides

and this is the view from his front door

i don’t know about you, but i see nothing but good coming from this new location and view of dirt-stained stairs.

why i know i am the middle of motherhood

we re-upholstered our chair

and my 5-year-old said “oh mom! that’s the most beautiful thing i have ever seen.”

you are welcome future husband of bird, we have strived very hard to make sure her expectations in life were not too far-reaching.

well, i feel we got their religious studies on the right path of righteousness….

“one girl has all of them memorized.” chicka informed me this afternoon.

and what were they memorizing? the 13 articles of faith for our church.

“well, they did start her really young memorizing them, so she has known them a long time.” i told her.

they have been working on these articles the whole year of 09 and what ever has been memorized by my children in due to the total commitment of their primary teachers.

kudos to you primary teacher.

“well, we just have fun.” chicka patted my back and said.

“yeah, we do.”

“they just have fun AND learn about the church,” she explained of the other family, “every family is different.” she ended her confucius wisdom filled statement with.

an experiment

i am an idiot when it comes to trying to make a blog work.

i ride the short bus to school.

i have a padded time-out room in my work area.

i have an IEP to try to achieve goals in making a link from one blog to another.

i would qualify for mental disability benefits in computer retardation.

so i am going to trying to make several different links to see which one works, all on this post.

without crying.

first one failed miserably.

let us try this again.

more failure.

i will now go sob quietly in my happy space.

holy curse curse curse word here!!! i think i may have had success!!!!

i have lost my link virginity!!!